cog·ni·tive dis·so·nance noun [PSYCHOLOGY]: the mental stress or discomfort experienced by a person who simultaneously holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values; when performing an action that contradicts existing beliefs, ideas, or values; or when confronted with new information that contradicts existing beliefs, ideas, and values.
Hello readers! Going all pyscho on you today (pyschological that is, not psychotic). I seem to be spending a lot of time in my head. So many changes going on and transitions that need to happen and I feel stuck in limbo. The one foremost on my mind that I was supposed to put out of my mind (self mandate) is the fact that I’m ready to move but our house hasn’t sold. A couple of probable sales that turned out to be no sales have left me weary of the process.
The cognitive dissonance is perpetuated when i get online and look at houses for sale (not 5 times a day) even though ours isn’t under contract and I can’t seem to stop myself. Where’s self-control when I need it?!
Cognitive dissonance is sort of like that scripture that says:
“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.”Romans 7:15
Getting it all out here on the blog might help. Truthfully the best help is to keep my mind renewed and I’m doing that too. Sometimes.
As long as we’re on the subject of my house, I’d like to share a video tour of our wine cellar that I put together. I’m also including a link to the house listing if you’d care to check it out and share.
I hope you enjoy your weekend. I’ll be enjoying a pedicure and some friend time.
I can’t believe it’s been five months since my last post. It has taken me until now to acclimate to our new situation and feel ready to share in detail all that has gone on in my world. Even though I haven’t posted or commented on other blogs I haven’t remained completely out of the loop. I have continued to read posts that I subscribe to as I’m able and the beauty and inspiration contained in them has been uplifting. We all go through stuff. The honesty and human spirit demonstrated in the blog world has been a source of comfort to me. What I’m about to share, I don’t share easily but I have decided (with full consent from my husband) to share this part of my journey with you. I share it now with hope for healing and the prayer support of my dear readers, but also with the hope that my transparency might in some way help others go through their “stuff”.
In October my husband of 35 years was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s Disease (also known as younger onset). Gary is 55 years old and has worked as an accomplished, preferred respiratory therapist for over 30 years. He has now been taken off the job because of his illness and will not return to work. The devastating news has washed over both of us in waves. Gary has kept his wonderful sense of humor through it all, even joking about it at times. He is now taking advantage of his time off to enjoy his favorite pastime.
When we first got the news, anything blog-related seemed completely frivolous and I imagined I might stay away indefinitely. But I have come to realize that, not only do I miss the interaction with my readers and other bloggers, it is an important outlet for me creatively. So I have decided to build the time in to post once again. We have been making many changes in the way we live (diet, finances, spiritual life) that I will share with you in upcoming posts. I will also be sharing photos of our entire house that is now on the market as well as the direction I am going with my money-earning pursuits. I’ll share a bit of happy news as well! Thank you for listening, I look forward to connecting once again.
I would like to wish all of my readers Happy 2016! With the old year passed and the brand new year ahead I would like to thank you for reading, commenting, supporting and be-friending me and my blog in 2015.
When I wrote this post, little did I know how much I would cling to its message in the months to come. 2015 was a difficult year for our family in many ways, not the least of which was watching my daughter and son-in-law end their ten year marriage. Our family had never been touched by divorce in any significant way prior to this. It is a very painful experience for all involved. My heart still aches every time I think of them and their three children and try to accept that their family as we know it no longer exists. I know many of you have experienced the heart-wrenching pain of divorce as well and my heart goes out to you.
In late 2015 we received news regarding my husband’s health that overshadowed even the pain of the divorce. Though I can’t share all of it in detail, he has been on sick leave since October and we don’t know when he will return to work. Because of the unknown future of his work status, I have begun looking for a full time job. We will also be putting our house on the market this spring and downsizing to something with less maintenance (i.e. move-in ready).
I don’t want this to be a lengthy post full of bad news and woes, so please allow me to share with you what I believe. God can take even the most painful, negative experiences and turn them into good. We are trusting God and leaning on Him heavily to show himself strong on our behalf. We believe that God still heals today and we are asking him to heal my husband. I am going forward with plans to prepare for the future in any event but hope to someday share a good report with you on the wonderful things God has done. Trying to get a handle on my need to know what’s next. By yielding control and trusting God who holds my future, I can rest in the knowledge that He knows the desires of my heart and wants to lead me in the very best plan for me (us). His ways are higher than our ways. I put my faith in Him.
Hello Friends. I know I have been MIA and have not posted or visited other blogs for quite some time. My heart is heavy with some changes going on in my world. The changes are of a very personal nature and I’m not ready to divulge all the information. I would just ask that if you believe in the power of prayer, please keep my husband Gary in your prayers.
I took these pictures in November. One day I pulled in the driveway as he was leaf blowing. When he saw me he began to play the blower like a guitar. I couldn’t resist grabbing my camera and getting some shots of him. He humored me happily. That’s the kind of guy he is.
My comfort comes from the Lord and I choose joy during this holiday season. Here is a shot of the dining room buffet decorated for Christmas.
I used greenery that I cut from one of the trees on our property. The branches were covered in these cute mini pinecones.
There’s a very interesting story behind this pair of lanterns. I will share it in a future post.
I don’t know when I’ll post again, so for now I wish you a Merry Christmas filled with joy, peace and wonder.
Does the passage of time seem to keep speeding up? It does for me! The cry of my heart is that in my remaining years, days, hours here on earth I will use my time wisely. But what does that look like? How do I know when I’m spending time in the best way possible? I want to lean more heavily on the leading of God to direct my steps. I don’t want to waste my time on frivolous things or in useless ways. In other words, I don’t want to waste my life!
Spending time with family, nurturing friendships, volunteering for a worthy cause, spending time with God, cooking a nice meal for my husband, spending time outdoors soaking in the beauty of nature, exercising. These are all things that fulfill me and feel worthy of the time spent doing them.
If you feel there are not enough hours in the day, perhaps you should re-evaluate how you are spending them. What fulfills your heart and soul? What leaves you feeling energized and excited about life? Time invested in those things is never wasted. Are there things that you walk away from feeling lethargic or purposeless? For me that can be too many hours on social media or watching TV. Taking note of these feelings will help you determine what activities need to be in check and what activities you should engage in more often.
Have you ever been so parched that all you can think of is downing a huge glass of water as soon as you can get to one? You know that feeling when the ice cold water hits your mouth and you chug, chug, chug it down like you are dying of thirst? That feeling of being satisfied, having your thirst quenched that only water can give. That kind of thirst is a satiable thirst.
Then there are the thirsts in life that cannot be satisfied. I’ll be honest and say that when I have a sugary dessert I am not satisfied. I want more. And more. My sugar cravings are insatiable and somewhat life-controlling if I allow them to be. For some it might be shopping. The “thrill of the hunt” never goes away. I love to shop but I do get my fill after a really long day of it. For others the desire for success might be a relentlessly driving force. No matter how much this person achieves it is never enough.
All of these things are fine, maybe even good, in and of themselves. They just aren’t meant to be that which fulfill our very souls. I will be honest again and admit that most of my thoughts are preoccupied with how to make a successful business out of doing what I love, here on the blog and in some creative form whether it be jewelry design, graphic design, DIY or something else. I don’t necessarily classify this as an insatiable thirst for me because I have yet to achieve it to any degree, monetarily anyway. And yet it tends to consume me.
I certainly have been doing a lot of soul-bearing in this series! #16 on Trust dealt with a similar topic but I’m now taking it further. Recently I decided to embark on a specific personal journey with God. I made the decision to finally surrender my yearning for success in exchange for a closer relationship with Him. I have come to realize that my desire for success has been holding me back from experiencing the thirst-quenching nature of intimacy with my Creator. Until now I have been trying to “serve two masters” and if I’m totally honest I would have to say that the success thing had my heart. I am sure this will not be a once and for all type of surrender. Especially since I will continue to blog and create. I believe that’s the path I’m on for a reason. But it will be a balancing act. Is it possible to pursue those passions and still keep my heart where it belongs, fully trusting God for the outcome? If I can have my thirst satisfied through a closer walk with Him perhaps the outcome won’t really matter.